• Publication date: 03/10/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 9780715653753

Things We Didn’t Talk About When I Was a Girl

Jeannie Vanasco,

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Why would a good person commit a terrible act?

Fifteen years ago, Jeannie’s relationship with a close friend ended in rape. With the rise of the #MeToo movement, recurring nightmares of the event that plagued her as a girl have returned. To process her conflicted feelings of betrayal and take back control, she resolves to face her trauma head-on by interviewing her rapist.

Through their transcribed conversations and discussions with her closest friends, Jeannie’s compelling memoir explores how the incident impacted both of their lives, while examining the culture and language surrounding sexual assault and rape. Things We Didn’t Talk About When I Was a Girl is a necessary contribution to the wider conversation around sexual violence from a brave, new voice. 

What people are saying…

 ‘Vanasco has written exactly the book we need right now. I wish everyone in would read it.’ Melissa Febos, author of Abandon Me

‘Explodes rape culture at the level of language, shows us how we are trapped and how we might make ourselves free. This is a brilliant book, an astonishingly fierce inquiry into the places language won’t go.’ Emily Geminder, author of Dead Girls

‘Brave and compelling… Vanasco muddles through the silt of her thoughts to create a language for something we don’t talk about.’ The Paris Review, staff pick

‘A powerful memoir… a painful reminder of the ugly ways some men treat women, and Vanasco’s nuanced story will resonate with those who’ve endured sexual inappropriateness in any form.’ Publishers Weekly

‘Cuts through the silence of deep betrayal, gives contour to the aching space between forgiveness and absolution, and offers a living testament to the endless wreckage of sexual assault.’ Amy Jo Burns, author of Cinderland