Party like it’s 1660 by following Anna Abney’s ‘9 Rules of Christmas’
Wassail!
It’s Christmas, and although it was suspended for 13 years, don’t let the haters put you off your celebrations. You might get called a wanton strumpet, heathen, papist or even the Antichrist by certain zealous Puritans, but ignore them. You may have forgotten a few traditions during the hiatus, but we’ve got you covered with Anna Abney’s 9 rules of Christmas.
1. Shop til you drop
Have your Christmas outfits made before the shops and markets close for the holiday. Now’s the time for new gowns, hats and handkerchiefs. Stock up on claret, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cloves as they’re scented essentials to adorn your home.
2. Deck your halls
By Christmas Eve, you’ll need to have gathered plenty of holly, bay, rosemary and ivy for decorating the main rooms in your house as well as your public buildings. If you can’t find mistletoe locally, you might be able to buy it at market. Admire your evergreens with a wassail (a cup of spiced ale or cider).
3. Stoke your fires
Nothing says Christmas like a warm, blazing fire. Find a large piece of wood for the perfect Yule log and light it with a brand saved from last year’s log. It should be big enough to rekindle every day until Twelfth Night.
4. Work at your own risk
Prepare for time off to rest and play. Close up your business. Be aware that any shops or market stalls open on Christmas Day (as encouraged by the Puritans) may cause rioting. Mobs have been known to forcibly close shops that stay open during this period, chucking their wares up and down the streets.
5. Abandon your diet
Hooray, it’s Christmas day! Advent fasting is over, now let’s eat, drink and make merry. Today’s menu should include brawn with sprigs of rosemary, plum-pottage and minced pies, as well as a roast swan if you really want to impress your guests (if you can’t get hold of swan, a turkey or a goose will do). Don’t forget the oysters and venison pasties. Decorate the table with piles of sweetmeats, dried fruits and sugar confections, including baked marzipan shapes studded with nuts and comfits, brushed with gold leaf. The wine and ale should flow freely. A trip to Church will do your soul good on this holy day. For this you should be sober and prepared for a sermon on the wrongheadedness of pagan celebrations.
6. Work hard, play harder
Get outside for some fresh air and exercise; traditional games are snowballing and football. Football is a bit rougher than you remember and you might end up with a broken leg and a bloody nose, but, according to London headmaster, Richard Mulcaster, ‘Footeball strengtheneth and brawneth the whole body, and by provoking superfluities downward, it dischargeth the head, and upper partes, it is good for the bowels, and to drive down the stone and gravel from both the bladder and kidneys.’ Just avoid ‘rash running & too much force’. If you’re lucky the Thames might freeze over and you can play your games there. For those with less hardy constitutions, there are plenty of indoor activities. Especially popular are dice and cards. The whole family can join in. Just make sure your guests don’t get carried away with gambling as the night could end in conflict.
7. Support the arts
Everyone loves to make merry with bagpipes, fiddles, lutes and drums, so get your dancing shoes. Your throat should be well oiled for singing popular Christmas carols, like ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’ and ‘While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night’. It also wouldn’t be Christmas without a trip to the theatre. Book early to get good seats. On the 28th December 1666, Samuel Pepys managed to see two plays: Macbeth at the Duke’s Theatre in Lincoln’s Inn Fields ‘a most excellent play for variety’ and Henry the Fifth ‘well done by the Duke’s people, … But I sat so high and far off, that I missed most of the words, and sat with a wind coming into my back and neck’. At least it was better than Twelfth Night, which he’d seen on Twelfth Night, 1662, and dismissed as ‘acted well, though it be but a silly play, and not related at all to the name or day.’
8. Be charitable
Keep an open house and a well stocked pantry as anyone might drop in. You can look forward to being invited over for a meal by your landlord and if you are a landlord, don’t forget to provide ample food and drink for your tenants. Christmas is the time for charity, so make sure you have spare change and food parcels for anyone who comes begging. On New Year’s day, exchange presents with your loved ones. Make up boxes for your servants, apprentices and tradesmen. Be generous and they’ll work hard for you over the coming year. The Secret Christmas makes for an especially nice gift at this time of year.
9. Party like it’s the Twelfth Night
It’s time to party (again). Don’t forget to hide a bean and a pea inside your Twelfth-night cake. The man who finds the bean in his slice of cake becomes King, or Lord of Misrule for the night, while the lady who finds the pea in her slice of cake becomes Queen. They will be obliged to cause maximum chaos, inverting all hierarchies and challenging all rules. Remember, it’s only temporary and an excellent way for everyone to let off steam.
‘Twelfth Night’
NOW, now the mirth comes
With the cake full of plums,
Where bean’s the king of the sport here;
Beside we must know,
The pea also
Must revel, as queen, in the court here.
Begin then to choose,
This night as ye use,
Who shall for the present delight here,
Be a king by the lot,
And who shall not
Be Twelfth-day queen for the night here.
– Robert Herrick
And so I bid you all a very merry Christmas. As the poet, John Taylor wrote, ‘Let’s dance and sing and make good cheer, since Christmas comes but once a year.’
Anna Abney is the author of The Secret Christmas, a work of historical fiction that introduces readers to the Measham Hall trilogy. The series can be purchased from Duckworth Books by selecting the books below. Thank you for supporting independent publishing.
